My Girlfriend Talks To Her Best Friend More Than Me
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years now, but lately there’s been an issue that’s starting to bother me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m insecure or what, but when she gets on the phone with her best friend, I can tell they’re talking about me. It seems like they talk about every single thing that goes on between us! Like one time my girlfriend said “Oh my god,” and then told her friend how mad she was at me because of something dumb that happened earlier in the day. And then there was another time when she was talking about this party we went to last night and all of a sudden she said “Wait—he texted me back!” And then proceeded to read all of our text messages out loud so her friend could hear them too.
My girlfriend likes to talk to her best friend more than she likes talking to me.
You know that your girlfriend does this, but you don’t know why. You also don’t know what to do about it and why she says it’s her best friend when it feels like she should be talking and spending time with you instead.
You need a plan of action, but first let’s take a look at some possible reasons why this might be happening:
- Your girlfriend has low self-esteem and believes that the only way she can feel good about herself is by comparing herself favorably against other people (i.e., “my best friend is prettier than me”). She may also believe that talking less will make her seem more mysterious or desirable because there will always be something left unsaid between two people who know each other well enough not to feel the need for constant conversation; this means there will always remain an element of mystery between them–and who doesn’t want their partner not knowing everything about them?
When I ask her who she’s talking to, she says it’s her best friend.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to be jealous of the time your partner spends talking with other people. It’s important to trust your partner and talk about these feelings with them. It may also help if you ask them who they’re talking to and why–and then listen carefully for any clues as to whether there might be more going on than just an innocent conversation between friends.
If this is happening often enough that it bothers you, try confronting your girlfriend about it directly: “When I ask who she’s talking to when she says ‘my best friend,’ she says ____________ (fill in blank). But I don’t think that’s true; do we need help figuring out what’s going on here?”
When we’re out together and she’s on the phone, I ask who it is and she says it’s her best friend.
So, you’re out with your girlfriend and she’s on the phone. You ask who it is, but she says it’s her best friend. That may be true, but there are a few things going on here:
- She doesn’t want you to know that she’s talking to her best friend
- She thinks that telling you this will make herself look bad (even if it doesn’t) because she thinks of herself as being above having conversations with other people while out in public
- She doesn’t trust you enough to tell the truth
I don’t mind that she talks to her best friend but why does she do all this in front of me?
- You don’t mind that she talks to her best friend but why does she do all this in front of me?
- I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful, but sometimes it feels like she’s trying too hard.
- She wants to show me that she cares about me and our relationship by interacting with me more often than with others.
You are not alone. I have been through this myself, and it’s hard to deal with.
But you know what? You can talk about this with a friend or even your girlfriend if she has time to listen! She might not be able to help you because she doesn’t know what’s going on in your head, but at least it makes you feel better to share your feelings with someone who cares about you and wants what’s best for both of them (herself and her friend).
If talking isn’t enough, there are some things that may help:
- Take some time away from each other–you won’t be able to solve anything if all three of you are together 24/7! I recommend getting out of the house for an hour or two at least once every couple days so that everyone has some space from each other. This will make things less tense when they do see each other again later on in the day/weekend etc…
I just want my girlfriend to be honest with me. If she wants to talk more with her best friend than me, I’ll try to accept that but I need her to tell me so that we can at least have an open conversation about it.